TripDingo

As an expat in China, I’m accustomed to many foreign men being secure in their assessment that Chinese girls are “easy” and that China is a great place to get laid with satisfying frequency. Every once in awhile, however, I do encounter the odd newbie who has just arrived, is largely ignorant of what things are like here, and admirably naive idealistic in their notions of romance, dating, and love.  

Image shamelessly stolen from Billy Law’s Shisso. 

I ran across this forum thread quite awhile ago. A young man from a “country with rather mild income differences and [where] personal wealth is not the first thing to consider when people look for a relationship” posts several questions asking about where he can find a “proper well-educated and financially independent” Chinese girl. He even says: “We want to find ‘the match between souls.’”

Hilarity ensues. 

3. No one in China gives a $#!t what people in your country look for in a relationship, “match between souls” or not. Okay, not no one, but very few people. You have to understand that you likely come from a country where your income or personal wealth is vastly different from those here in China. It doesn’t matter if there’s “mild” disparity in your country, there is large disparity between you and them HERE. You can operate by whatever principles of love you wish, it is your life, but do not fool yourself into thinking that they’ll eschew their own priorities and mindsets to adopt your’s. You may find yourself horribly disappointed when she responds to all your “soulmate” talk by asking when you’re going to buy a house for her, whether or not you’ll let her handle all the finances, and how much allowance she should give you per mounth.

There’s even a good breakdown of the types of girls any guy is likely to meet at the bars and nightclubs in China…and more importantly, how to identify which is which.

4. If the girl is with a group of older or shady looking men, possibly dressed provocatively, probably with other girls of similar appearance: probably “xiao jies” whether hired at the venue or brought by the guys in the group from outside. They’re here to enjoy a free night of partying and drinking on someone else’s coin by looking pretty and giving their attentions to the males in the group. They’re there to stroke egos and may be paid for it. Any activities between them and the men afterwards may or may not be negotiable and may or may not be definite. Do not try approaching these girls, no matter how hot they are, mostly because the guys will think you’re poaching their women. The women themselves will not likely be receptive to you anyway because they’re there for the other guys and not as free-agents. 

With all of the responses on the thread (some of which include plenty of tough love) and when I find myself teaching such lads the ropes, I’m reminded of the movie, “A World Without Thieves.” But…would I be Andy Lau (Wang Bo) or You Ge (Uncle Bill)?